In loving memory of my beautiful mum, Carole, who passed away relatively peacefully last Monday, after a long, long illness.
Sometimes there are just no words to express the grief you feel – you can only let it consume you until the words start.
My overwhleming emotion is one of relief that she is no longer suffering the pain associated with bone cancer that she endured the last few years of her life.
In her last days while she was in hospital I was reading Peter Pan to her. It had not occurred to me how appropriate that book was at the time.
A story about a boy who was an orphan. Who never grows old. Who can just fly out the window and have adventures with pirates, fairies, Indians and mermaids in a mythical place called Neverland.
My mum was an orphan. Despite physically aging, she was always young at heart. And it must have been her greatest desire to fly out of that hospital window so, so many times and to be reunited with a number of her dearly departed wonderful friends who at various stages of their lives fit the definition of pirates and fairies and lost boys.
Unfortunately she and I never got to finish the book. She was an avid reader and my brother who is 10 years older than me assures me she read Peter Pan to him when he was a kid as I’m sure she did to me, but I just can’t remember.
I do hope she remembered that great line we never got to read together before she passed and that is “To die would be an awfully big adventure” because I really, really want that for her.
For all the pain you suffered I do hope there is an afterlife and that you’re having a grand old time. I still feel you with me and thank you for making me the person I am today. You will forever be in my heart.
Love always,
Melanie
xx
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Very sorry for your loss. Beautiful post.
i’m so sorry to hear it
would you like that hug now?
Many thanks Whit.
Hugs gratefully accepted Keeks.
Sorry to read of your loss. There is not much anyone can say to someone who has lost there mother, other than to offer mere words. And that is part of the problem, they are just mere words for such a gaping huge loss that is the death of a parent, but word are all we have. The road that you are now on is also different to what others will likely experience, although it might have some of the same signs, some of the same bends, some of the same obstacles, some of the same learning. Hope you are good and are taking care of yourself.
You have my sympathies!
Mel, I am so sorry to hear of your mother’s death but glad, like you, to think that her pain is ended now. Be gentle with yourself in the coming months – grief is a powerful and long-term process. I’ll be thinking of you.
That is a beautiful picture.
And a beautiful post.
And the Peter Pan quote is so very comforting, and, I’m sure is true.
Best wishes to you and your family.
im so sorry for your loss. That was a truly beautful post.
We have both lost someone close to our hearts recently…let us hope that in time we both can heal…
goodness that is hard news. may you find comfort in your memories, xx
Ed: I remember reading your posts about your own mum and how difficult it was to read at the time. I remember starting to comment but I don’t remember if I published it in the end. Thanks for your kind words.
Hi and many thanks Hippie Chris.
Kathy: Thank you and yes, thanks for your advice – it’s ringing true weeks after as I imagine it will for a long time.
Many thanks Kit. I’m sure it’s true too.
Slyde: Like Ed’s mum I remember reading your post about your grandfather and finding it so close to home at the time as being too difficult to comment. My sympathies on your loss and many thanks for your kind words.
Kimberlee: Thankyou. It’s interesting how memories in this day and age are so different to years ago. We have a lot of footage of musical, theatrical, television performances she did in her time that were recorded – some great memories at the touch of a button. But the best ones are the ones between the two of us that were never caught on camera and they’re the ones I treasure most.
I’m just reading about this now. I’m very sorry to hear about this.
I am sorry for your loss. I lost my father a year ago this week (feb 12) and my stepfather the year before, so I know and feel your loss. I was thankfully surprised at the warmth of the blogging community.
Peace to you.
Many thanks Neil and David. Thoughts are with you on the anniversary tomorrow arrteeest. xx