Always a Bit of Foreplay Before the First Bounce

Just a gratuitous photograph of the AFL footballer Brad Ottens for your viewing pleasure.

A name I did not know until last night, spending a quality evening with my partner watching his team get beaten. And for no other reason than I like looking at him. He just brings joy to my visual world. As do many footballers whose names I can’t quite recall, but it doesn’t matter.

Also not bothered by the fact that partner says “You know he impaled himself on a wrought iron gate when he was doing home renovations? And he was also hospitalised for some ‘bathroom accident’?”

How he explains such accidents to hospital staff is not my concern. He is still fine.

What doesn’t bring joy to my aural world is hearing footballers talk after the game. Or, let’s say, it does, but just not in the same way.

Mr Ottens wasn’t the guy being interviewed last night. I think it may have been the captain, Cameron Ling, who said something like…”Yeah, nah, yeah, we were lucky we had our legs out there in the final quarter…”

Yep, pretty lucky. Otherwise it would have just been a bunch of legless dudes cruising around on skateboards handballing to each other and scoring nothing but behinds all the way.

Why do footy players rehash and trot out the same tired old mottos ad infinitum? Like “Yeah, nah, yeah – they were just the better team on the day…”

Friggin’ der!!!!

An exception to the rule of course is the commentator Denis Cometti (right) with his opening line “Always a bit of foreplay before the first bounce.” Prolly completely lost on your average male punter…

Maybe, footy wise, the maxim of “Easy on the eyes, hard on the ears and easy on the ears, hard on the eyes” is one to live by? Cept Cameron Ling aint easy any which way you look at him.