I just counted the number of single socks sitting atop my daughter’s drawer waiting for their partner to arrive and it pains me to say that it’s 34.
Playing card games like Concentration and Fish as a child, it never occurred to me that they would have any applicable purpose in my adult life. I never excelled at these games, lacking the concentration for simple activities. I preferred draughts, Chinese checkers and chess. Seems I was really only interested if I could theoretically imprison or kill someone. Hence, I truly believe that this is why I am absolutely lousy at pairing my daughter’s socks.
What am I to do with 34 unpaired socks? Why does she have so many damn socks? How could I allow myself to buy so many? Actually I have the same problem with earrings. I am just unable to keep them together. They’re all over the place.
And I am currently sitting on the net wasting time to avoid trying to pair all the shit in my life that has separated from their significant others. Knowing that my partner is right at this very moment off at a kids party with our daughter and most likely reading this post on his iphone, thinking “What the hell is she doing? She should be doing the washing!” and then laughing cos he knows he gets sucked in to doing all the kids parties and yet, sucker that he is, he wouldn’t have it any other way. Cos he’s shit at pairing too.
I’m just not sure this life is for me. All the organisation that goes with being in a relationship and looking after children – all the crap you collect along the way and somehow have to put it all in its place – it’s just not naturally me.
And I struggle.
Massively.
But I try.
And I’m shit.
But, I promise, I try.
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Got the *best* hint from a friend when the twins were born. She gave us 12 pairs of white socks. All exactly the same. We’ve since bought more (in bigger sizes) and are doing the same with the older kids.
Now, it doesn’t matter if one is missing, it just means if or when it turns up, it’s matched with one of the other socks. You only ever have ONE single sock.
Pretty nifty, eh?
Sure, you might like to have black socks too, so buy a stack of the same of those too. You’ll still only ever have 2 single socks at any point – one white and one black